


Does It Work Both Ways

by MeredithBrody



Series: The Romulan War [3]
Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: F/M, Romulan War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 08:26:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1157363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeredithBrody/pseuds/MeredithBrody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erika's fears about being a Captain through the war get the best of her, but Jonathan is there to reassure her that the most important thing they both have remains intact.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Does It Work Both Ways

**Author's Note:**

> This started it's life as a drabble on Facebook. But when I went (way) over the word limit I ended up making it into this oneshot. This was the prompt.
> 
> “He put himself out there and sometimes that means taking risks, and doing things you could never imagine yourself doing. Because you have this crazy idea that you just might be able to make a difference.” Pratt ‘ER’

Every day Erika had to remind herself that they both did this for a reason. Everything they did was because they wanted to make a difference to the universe, and the positions they'd been given meant they likely could, especially now. The war was changing everything, and that was never going to be helpful in maintaining a relationship, especially one that had faced as many barriers as theirs.

That didn't make it any easier to say goodbye. It didn't make the long distance calls any easier to end, and it didn't make it easier to admit that she loved him and couldn't imagine a life without those calls, those moments. When she was hurt, or upset, or struggling with a decision her mind would bring her back to this, to being laid in Jon's arms.

In just a few hours they would both be leaving again, heading in opposite directions to do their duties, and for the first time she could remember Erika couldn't hold in the tears. Maybe it was the constant fear, maybe it was knowing that this could be the last time they were together or maybe it was her mentally questioning everything she was doing. She tried to keep quiet, not wanting to wake Jon up. He didn't sleep much, and he needed it. She bit her lip to hold in the sobs, but she couldn't stop her body shaking, and clearly she failed at not waking Jon up.

He didn't speak at first, just pulled her back tightly against his chest and she felt him bury his face in her hair as he often did when he was waking up. After a few minutes of just holding her, letting her cry it out a little longer, he brushed a tear off her cheek and spoke softly. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She took a breath, relishing his embrace for another moment before she thought how to phrase her answer. She didn't want to worry him any more than he already had been, waking up to her crying. So she settled on something simple, something she wasn't afraid to tell him. "I'm just thinking. Jon, you know how much I love you, right?"

"I do. Erika, tell me." He whispered again in her ear. He knew she was hiding something from him, and she didn't blame him for being concerned about how she was right now. She was so rarely in this position, it felt strange to even consider what she needed to tell him, how she needed to phrase everything she was thinking right now. All the pain and the fear. How all of it came to her being afraid to lose the one thing that kept her alive, that kept her fighting for a better universe.

"Tomorrow morning we're going to be taking our ship to opposite sides of coalition space to try and make a difference, fight the good fight and all. But, that means taking risks and I'm scared, Jonathan." She sat up a little so she was leaning slightly above him, her tears dripping onto his chest, but neither of them paid any attention to them. All his attention was on her words. "I'm scared about the war, about the orders I will have to give, but most of all I'm scared of losing this. I'm scared of losing us."

"Rike, I can't promise that won't happen, you know I can't, but I will try my very best to make sure we not only make a difference, but that we come home to each other." He smiled at her, and while she knew that things could change, she suddenly felt confident that no matter what, if they could make it home together they would. He pulled her down again and wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling his face into her neck as he did. “I like it here. I like waking up in a morning and having you in my arms.”

“Jonathan.” She started, turning slightly in his arms so she could rest her forehead against his without having to turn to an awkward position. As she did she noticed his tears had joined hers, and she realised that being afraid of what might happen wasn’t something she would go through alone. She wiped Jon’s tears away then kissed the tip of his nose. “You’re right. I know that. There are no guarantees in our lives, but we try. That’s the best we can do, right?” The question was mostly rhetorical, but she was simultaneously curious about Jon’s answer.

He didn’t answer right away, once again he shifted his position, holding her tighter as he did, and she knew now it was as much for his comfort as it was hers. “It’s all we do. Just promise me one thing?” He asked quietly, and while she was comfortable, she leant back a little just to try and guess at what he was going to ask her. After a few moments of silence he smiled gently and ran his hand through her hair. “Write to me whenever you get chance. Even if it’s five times a day. Tell me when you’re thinking of me. When you miss me.”

“Does this work both ways?” She asked, it was almost unspoken that it was, Jon tended to do that anyway, and she looked forward to getting his messages. They brightened up her dull and dreary shifts, and sometimes that was all you needed. Something to brighten up one part of your day, and it made everything easier. She was still studying Jon when he nodded, and she knew there was an agreement there. They would write to one another, and that would help. She wouldn’t feel alone if she could write whenever she needed. That was the moment she realised 'home' wasn't a place for her, it was a person, and whenever she was with Jon she was home. She took another deep breath as he wrapped his arms tighter around her, and she believed him.


End file.
